a Burden to Be

a Burden to Be

You really do not have to worry about enabling me.

dependent & pathetic is not how I want to be,

you think that I should be grateful to be alive,

but that thought is alien to me.

I struggle just to survive

another day of meaningless ponderings,

searching for truth through endless wonderings,

getting nowhere really fast,

knowing that this just cannot last.

I live for you, you are why I cry,

its my love for you that forces me to try,

you need me to be, so I persist,

but its not enough just to exist.

Please make me feel like a burden, a liability,

then I wont be a prisoner of your needs, Ill be free,

take back your support, take it all away,

then I wont feel obligated to face another day.

I cannot even talk to you, youll view it as a threat,

you are not able to see the truth that is in my regret,

youll feel a guilt-trip & perceive it as deathly unfair,

but you will never understand the depths of my despair.

And, maybe your are in the right, maybe I am guilty,

perhaps, I am the one who refuses to see.

It doesnt much matter, either way,

you'll always spend your money, & I'll always have to pay,

someday, the pain will transcend, & Ill consider the debt paid,

and then I will move on alone, but unafraid.

Originally posted on Myspace July 18, 2006

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