Who Are You?

What are your beliefs?

What are your ideals?

You tell me that you love me,

but I have to know its real.

I'm not saying that I won't love you,

but you have to understand,

I have to know you as a person,

before I can love you as a man.

Tell me your values,

I'm sorry if you can't,

blind love just isn't good enough.

I hope that you understand.

Reset Forget

Forgive,

Forget,

Nothing yet.

Remember to forget.

No, nothing yet.


Forget

To Remember,

No, still nothing yet.

Never forget,

Never forgive,

Just let go, let the balance reset.

Ended Unattended

Hopes and wishes tendered,

Dreams were rendered,

Words surrendered,

Unattended.

Bright lines,
Whose rules?
White lines,
No clues.
Bright lights,
Silent flashes,

White lights,
Chalk to ashes.

The Wall Will Fall Eventually

My philosophy is that things are just as bad as they seem.

If my life were gymnastics I'd be straddling the balance beam.
If my life were a sport, I'd still be in the locker room.
And if I were a frightful witch,
I'd still be looking for my broom.
I am sitting on wall and feeling like Humpty-Dumpty -

Potential

Was just another stupid genius,

never considered how I'd hold up under the pressure,
sorry that I couldn't keep it together,
my soul melted as I burned so brightly,
guess you never believed that was my potential.
The sad thing is that it's something that I have always known,
and at some point, I just ceased to care,
l lived up to it just to prove I could, and would.
But I almost destroyed myself in proving that point,
and now I have nothing left,
nothing left to lose,
nothing left to prove.
And now I have everything,
everything to do again,
a second chance,
a chance to change,
rearrange my priorities,
and to remember that my potential is to just be me.

Haunting Questions

Where are you, why do haunt me?

Who are you, what do you want to be?

Will you help me, will you hold me down?

Will you free me, or will you keep me bound?

Do you love me, are you consumed by hate?

Do we have a choice, could it be fate?

Will you be angry, or will you be sad?

Will you know what I've done, the lovers I've had?

Will you care, will you make it right?

Will you give it up or is it worth the fight?

Will you find me, or continue to taunt?

Will it be forever or will I become a haunt?

Moving Target

I am a moving target,

Game is on, ready, get set.

Go, I am already gone.

Been there, done that, & moved on.

Let go of the past, now I am free.

Looking for the truth, tired of creating my own reality.

Searching for happiness, no need to atone.

So are you ready? 

Because I do not want to do this alone.

My Alternate Universe

I face my reality, as it is, a curse.
I know that I live in my own alternate universe.
But I am not alone, there are other's that dwell here,
in this place, this in between, a realm of hope, belied by fear.
On this planet, truths are profound but too often hidden.
In this world, all meaningful connections are forbidden,
only introspection and existentialist pondering are permitted.
All who dwelled here, and who were able, have long since fled.
Those, like me, who are lost in thought still remain,
bound by the uncompromising laws of pain,
broken by silence, surrounded but alone,
silently seeking sins to atone.
We can see the universe in which you all live,
and some of us are able to forgive,
that you can not, or will not, choose to see us,
although our alternate world, is parallel to your universe.

From Darkness to Life

The darkness of the night used to be my comfort,
a time I felt was all mine,
no prying eyes, no concerned voices,
just me and the stars burning bright.
But now I find that my mood becomes as dark as the hour of the night,
then as the sun rises, my mood lightens, & I start feeling alright,
and yet, still, I do not sleep,
though I am grateful that I no longer weep.
From despair to random acts of crying,
from fantasies of death to fantasies of actually trying,
from helpless indecision to a hopeful future vision,
from overwhelming anxiety to just plain fear,
from self-imposed isolation to talking with those I hold dear,
from painful existentialist ponderings to just being me.
from the depths of despair and the bowels of apathy,
I have climbed.
Now, I am clawing my up to being healthy & secure,
and I know that I'll make it, because now I know that I someone worth fighting for.